Volume 5 Intro

Join us as we begin another fabulous volume of The Never Rad Miscellany.


SCENE 1: The Intro

CONRAD:    Hello, everyone, and welcome to another outstanding installment of The Never Rad Miscellany. This is the fifth volume. We are so happy that this strange project we’ve undertaken has come this far and we are thankful for all of you here for joining us, and for everyone at home who will be listening at a later date. As you all know, it’s the holidays, and because we know you and care about you, only a single program during tonight’s events will have anything to do with the holiday season. You’re welcome.

    As almost all of you will know at this point, this is a live recording. We will be recording everyone up here on stage, but also all of you as well. Please silence your mobile devices at this time if you have not already.

    We’ve also got some audience participation coming up in tonight’s program. I know that some of you in tonight’s audience might be a bit on the shy and/or introverted side, and I don’t want you to panic when the time comes, so in a low pressure environment, such as this introduction provides us, I would like to practice.

    I have in front of me some cards with some very specific reactions we would like to get from you when the time comes. We of course could have used sound effects instead of your organic, honest-to-goodness reactions, but we didn’t want anyone in the audience getting confused as to why they hear themselves cheering and applauding when they aren’t making any sounds at all or moving whatsoever. With the epidemic of nearly identical Universes occasionally slipping into one another from time to time, we don’t want to alarm you. It’s really for your benefit that we give you the privilege of making the noises yourself. Consider this a tutorial video on being your best self in our audience right now.

    In order to give you a little context for each of the cards, I’ll give you a short scenario. The Bleebfugus Infants are playing with fire.

Wait for response.

    The Zext Autonomous Workers Collective are unionizing your sector.

Wait for response.

    There is a puppy.

Wait for response.

    A fart joke.

Wait for response.

    The laser turret starts working again at just the right moment.

Wait for response.

    You’ve just found out you’re eligible for wizarding school.

Wait for response.

    Perfect. Thank you all for doing your part. It’s critical that we have your help in these difficult times.

    I have also been told to tell you that there may be a sing-a-long later. So prepare yourselves for that. We’ve got an acoustic guitar somewhere, and it’s gonna get real.

    I would like to take this time to thank our Patreon Patrons Alex D, Brittney Garcia, Griffin Berlstein, Jessica Gaddis, Kakos Industries, Liz Johanson, Nancy Celaya, Patty Karakas, Russell Scott, and Sethzard.

    I would also like to thank everyone in the audience for being here tonight. On the count of three, I want you all to say your names all at once. 3, 2, 1, go.

    Like a choir of harmonic mecha-angels. And of course, we have to thank the Rebel Lounge for letting us do this nonsense in their space.

    We’ve also got brand new episodes of Peaceful Digiternia Heights, The Dark Sovereign, and A Gentleman About Space, and a holiday flashback from Phoenix Lights. We’ve also got some great interstitial elements. Let’s get on with the show!