Miscellany

Peaceful Digiternia Episode 4 – Halloween Mode

Wyatt and Vivian face a new challenge in Peaceful Digiternia Heights: Halloween Mode has been initiated.

Peaceful Digiternia Heights is written by Conrad Miszuk, and features the voices of Conrad Miszuk as Wyatt, Jenae Hirsch as Vivian, Jamie Haas as Carlie, William Crook as Philip, Ricco Machado-Torres as Maximilian, and Kitt Keller as Computer.

SCENE 0: 
INTRODUCTION

MFX 1: Soothing music.

COMPUTER: Welcome to Peaceful Digiternia Heights!

SFX 1: Choir AAH!

The most peaceful place to spend your digital afterlife! I am the computer, the guide, confidant, and best friend to all of our many citizens!

COMPUTER: Super Users Wyatt Carney and Vivian Hughes have recently freed up a great deal of processing power by breaking rules, acting against my advice, and quitting a resource intensive crypto miner. With the new processing power, things have begun to change on the server, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse.

Our residents are in for a surprise today, because today is Halloween. What fun!

SCENE 1: 
THE HIGH SCHOOL

MFX 2: Something John-Carpenter-esque for around 30 seconds, then fade out.

VIVIAN: Wyatt.

WYATT: Huh?

VIVIAN: Wake up, Wyatt.

WYATT: Where are we?

VIVIAN: It appears to be a high school gymnasium. I would guess that it’s prom night. There’s a disco ball and a punch bowl and everything.

WYATT: I’m wearing a tuxedo. And you…

VIVIAN: Don’t.

WYATT: Oh man.

VIVIAN: I know.

WYATT: I’m not sure I ever saw you wear a dress, let alone–

VIVIAN: I know.

WYATT: It’s so frilly.

VIVIAN: I told you not to. Can we please drop it?

WYATT: It is dropped. What’s going on here? We’re in a high school that I didn’t attend at the very least, and we’re dressed for prom. Is the computer trying to do something? Smooth things over?

VIVIAN: You know as much as I do. I have no idea where these assets even came from.

WYATT: Where is everyone?

VIVIAN: That is a good question.

PHILIP: (injured) Hey! You gotta get out of here!

VIVIAN: What?

WYATT: Who’s that?

VIVIAN: I don’t know, maybe one of the hundreds of other people on this server that we haven’t met yet?

PHILIP: Go! It’s coming.

WYATT: What’s coming?

PHILIP: I don’t know! It’s some kind of… thing. A monster. A horror.

WYATT: Is the computer doing the horse-human-raptor thing again?

VIVIAN: Oh my god. He’s bleeding.

PHILIP: Leave me and go!

WYATT: Can we bleed? Is that a thing?

PHILIP: Get out of here, man!

SFX 2: A loud, distant growling. Claw sounds.

VIVIAN: What the hell was that?

WYATT: Computer? What’s going on?

COMPUTER: Booooo, Super Users Wyatt Carney and Vivian Hughes, aren’t you just so excited!

PHILIP: I see a light!

WYATT: Excited about what?

SFX 3: More growling and scratching.

COMPUTER: It’s Halloween! Halloween mode has been initiated. It finished compiling, and now, because of the time of year, it has been initiated!

VIVIAN: It’s Halloween? I thought it was April.

WYATT: I thought mid-December. Did we lose time? Or gain time?

VIVIAN: Computer can you help this man? Can you help us with whatever is out there?

COMPUTER: I cannot do that. It is Halloween mode! You are on your own. How exciting! And remember, if you die in Halloween mode, you die for real!

VIVIAN: We’re already dead.

PHILIP: (death moan) Ohhhh…

VIVIAN: He’s dead. Again, I guess.

WYATT: Who the hell was he?

SFX 4: Closer monster growling.

VIVIAN: There’s no time for that now. We have to move. We’re in a fucking horror movie.

SFX 5: Running footsteps. Reverb.

MFX 2.5: Short Halloween Music

SCENE 2: THE LOCKER ROOM

Wyatt and Vivian catch their breath.

VIVIAN: This must be the men’s locker room. It’s gross.

WYATT: I barricaded the door. That should buy us some time to think.

VIVIAN: A monster. What on Earth is going on here?

WYATT: A sick joke from the programmers? Some sort of automated event?

VIVIAN: They must have watched too many horror movies. I can’t understand why they would thrust everyone into a situation like this.

WYATT: Well, we don’t know if everyone is here.

VIVIAN: What does it say about them that their ideal horror scenario is in a high school on prom night? Why not a rural summer camp? Why not a sleepy neighborhood? Why not a space station?

WYATT: Don’t put those ideas out here into the system. They might happen.

VIVIAN: We need to think of something to get us out of here.

WYATT: I’m no use when it comes to modeling.

VIVIAN: Modeling?

WYATT: Well, I figured you could take a look at the files and see if there’s some way of deleting a wall, or making a tunnel or something.

VIVIAN: That’s… that’s a good idea. Maybe we can get out of the high school and away from the whole thing and just wait this out.

SFX 5.5: Finger snap.

WYATT: How did you get a console so quickly?

VIVIAN: I created a macro for when I snap with my left hand ring finger. In case the computer is away and we don’t have our computers.

WYATT: That’s smart. That… that actually sounds like something I would do. Why haven’t I done that?

SFX 6: Finger snap.

VIVIAN: You can have one, too.

WYATT: Oh, thanks.

SFX 7: Typing.

VIVIAN: This is going to take a while.

MAXIMILIAN: (Muffled) Hey, you guys! I’m outside, let me in. And give me my dick back.

WYATT: Is that Maximilian?

VIVIAN: Have you taken any other dicks away recently?

WYATT: I didn’t take his dick away. And how did he get out of his room? We locked him in.

MAXIMILIAN: I saw you guys go in there. Come on. Let me in. There’s some kind of freaky monster out here. I saw it kill this guy. And give me my dick back. I’m getting tired of, you know, improvising.

WYATT: What do I do? We have to let him in, right?

VIVIAN: This is a horror movie, Wyatt. The monster could be out there. We don’t even know if it’s him for real or some sort of horror trope.

WYATT: We can’t leave him out there. He’s a bad person, but he doesn’t deserve to be eaten by a monster.

VIVIAN: We have no way out if it’s not him. Or if the monster’s hot on his tail.

SFX 8: Monster growls.

MAXIMILIAN: Hey, if you guys could hurry up, that would be great. It’s getting close.

WYATT: I have to let him in.

VIVIAN: If you have to.

SFX 9: Sliding furniture. A stuck deadbolt.

WYATT: The door won’t unlock. The deadbolt is stuck.

VIVIAN: What?

WYATT: It’s like it’s glued or something. Max, you gotta run. We can’t let you in!

MAXIMILIAN: Maximilian. And I have no where to go. This thing is everywhere.

Wyatt groans from strain.

WYATT: I can’t get it. Viv, can you do something?

VIVIAN: I… uh… I don’t think so. I can see the door model, but I don’t know how to open it.

WYATT: You could delete it.

VIVIAN: But then how do we get it back before the monster gets us?

SFX 10: Growling.

WYATT: We have to do something!

MAXIMILIAN: Oh no! It’s here!

SFX 11: Growling, claws, gore.

MAXIMILIAN: Ahhh! This is not my kink! Wait, it’s stepping on me! I kinda like that. Wait, it’s the claws again. AHHHHHHHH!

SFX 11.5: Gore.

Then everything is quiet.

WYATT: I think he’s dead.

VIVIAN: Did the monster leave?

WYATT: I think so.

SFX 12: Loud banging on the door.

WYATT: It’s still here! Vivian, do something!

VIVIAN: I’m going to delete the wall behind us. We can escape that way. Hopefully this is the right command.

SFX 13: A single key press. A minor tone.

WYATT: It worked! Let’s go!

SCENE 4: THE LIBRARY

VIVIAN: We’re… in the high school library?

CARLIE: Oh my god am I happy to see you two!

WYATT: Carlie! You’re… a nerd?

CARLIE: I’m a little Velma’d up, yeah. Honestly, this outfit suits me better than the raver gear I have in my closet. Though, I can’t actually take the glasses off. I didn’t wear glasses until I was 70.

SFX 14: Loud banging.

WYATT: The monster’s going to break that door down any minute. I assume. The physics here aren’t exactly accurate. Let’s split up, gang!

CARLIE: That’s not a good idea. We should stick together.

WYATT: I’m actually not sure why I said that. That doesn’t sound like me at all.

VIVIAN: Do you think you’re Fred? Really? You? Fred?

WYATT: Well–

PHILIP: (On Carlie’s mic) You gotta get out of here!

VIVIAN: Is that the same guy as before?

WYATT: And the same wound?

PHILIP: You have to leave me behind, guys! I’m done for. Get out of here! (death moan) Ohhh…

VIVIAN: Is he real?

CARLIE: Who the hell is that?

WYATT: We have no idea. But he’s right, we have to get out of here. We could go out the door, but that’s where he came from. And the door behind us past the wall we deleted…

SFX 15: Loud banging.

CARLIE: We could try the air vents!

WYATT: That only works in movies. Air vents are never big eno– Why are the vents so big?

VIVIAN: No time to think about it. Get in there, Wyatt!

WYATT: Why do I have to go first?

VIVIAN: Because I’m wearing a dress and she’s wearing a skirt, Wyatt!

WYATT: Oh, right.

SFX 16: Screws coming loose, a metal plate hitting the ground.

Wyatt groans from exertion.

WYATT: I’m in.

SFX 16.5: Tearing fabric.

WYATT: What was that?

VIVIAN: I need to be able to move. Now get out of the way!

SFX 17: Light metal tapping sounds.

WYATT: I bet car doors stop bullets on this server also.

VIVIAN: Let it go!

SFX 17.5: More metal thumps and shuffling.

WYATT: Hey, this vent looks down on a room.

SFX 17.6: Giggling and running water.

WYATT: It’s the women’s locker room. And there’s women down there.

VIVIAN: Move it, horn dog!

WYATT: No, it just doesn’t make any sense.

CARLIE: Isn’t there a trope about doing something sexy in a horror movie?

SFX 17.7: Monster growls, clawing, gore, screaming.

VIVIAN: What happened? I can’t see.

WYATT: Let’s keep moving.

SFX 18: Transition.

SCENE 5: THE FRONT DOOR

SFX 19: Three sets of feet hit the ground.

SFX 19.5: Glass breaking.

CARLIE: Oh no, my glasses broke. I can’t see without… no, I guess I can see fine without my glasses.

VIVIAN: There’s the front door. We can leave and get away from this Halloween mode nonsense.

WYATT: It’s locked. It won’t budge. Like at all. It won’t move no matter how hard I shake it. It’s a wall, not a door.

CARLIE: Can you delete the wall?

VIVIAN: I’ll have to find it first. This software is a nightmare.

SFX 20: Typing.

This is going to take a while.

PHILIP: It’s coming!

WYATT: Who the fuck are you?

PHILIP: Uggh. It got me good, guys!

WYATT: We watched you die twice already!

PHILIP: I’m done for! Go on without me! The front door’s locked. I already tried it. Hrrrrggggh. You’ll have to find another way.

VIVIAN: Fuck that. I’m close.

CARLIE: What’s plan B?

WYATT: I’ve got a crazy idea.

CARLIE: What is it?

WYATT: We clip out of bounds.

CARLIE: Wait, like a video game?

WYATT: Exactly.

CARLIE: How?

WYATT: The corners. We can run at the corners.

SFX 21: Thumping.

CARLIE: That looked like it hurt.

WYATT: We have to keep trying. We’ll eventually get the geometry right. Maybe I have to try backwards.

SFX 22: Monster groaning, claw sounds.

CARLIE: We need another plan.

VIVIAN: I can figure this out.

WYATT: I’m going to try standing on this mug.

SFX 23: Ceramic clink.

WYATT: And up against the corner.

SFX 24: Monster roar!

ALL THREE: AHHHHH!

WYATT: Oh! I clipped through! I’m outside!

CARLIE: How did you do it?

WYATT: I, uh, I don’t know. I was scared.

CARLIE: It’s here, Wyatt!

WYATT: Stand on the mug!

VIVIAN: The door won’t delete! It’s locked in the modeler!

CARLIE: It’s here!

WYATT: NOOOOOO! Stand on the mug!

SFX 24.5: Monster growling and gore.

CARLIE AND VIVIAN: AHHHHHHHHH!

WYATT: NOOOOOOOOOO!

SFX 25: Banging on wood.

WYATT: It won’t budge!

It has grown quiet.

WYATT: No. They can’t be gone. They were so close.

A pause.

WYATT: Huh. There’s not even a handle out here. It’s not a real door. Oh my god. I’ll… I’ll find a way to bring them back. They can’t be deleted. They’re still in the system somewhere. I’ll bring them back. Somehow.

A pause.

WYATT: Huh. That’s the mall over there. Just a quarter mile of blindingly white expanse between me and there. We were… we were so close. Wait.

Who’s there? I can see you. The outline of you, at least. Who are you. How many are there? Ten, eleven, there must be thirty. Who are you? Why aren’t you moving?

COMPUTER: They are the observers.

WYATT: The who now?

COMPUTER: The observers. They are always there. Observing.

WYATT: They blend into the white expanse. Why aren’t they moving.

COMPUTER: They are observing.

WYATT: Who are they?

COMPUTER: The observers.

WYATT: I heard you the first time. Who are the observers? Is this actually a digital afterlife?

COMPUTER: Of course. Where else would you go, Wyatt Carney?

SFX 26: Monster groaning.

WYATT: Is it out here? I can’t see it. Computer? Computer? Help!

SFX 27: Monster roaring, clawing, gore.

WYATT: AHHHHHHH!

SCENE 6: WYATT”S APARTMENT

SFX 28: An alarm clock goes off.

WYATT: What? Where am I?

COMPUTER: You are in your bed in your apartment, Super User Wyatt Carney.

WYATT: I can see that. Is… Is Halloween mode over?

COMPUTER: I do not know what you are talking about.

WYATT: And… the observers?

COMPUTER: The who?

WYATT: I have to get to the mall.

SCENE 7: THE MALL

MFX 5: Mall music plays.

VIVIAN: Wyatt!

WYATT: Oh, good. You’re alive.

CARLIE: So you had the dream, too?

WYATT: The High School?

VIVIAN: Prom night.

WYATT: So it wasn’t just a dream, then. I’m glad you’re both okay.

CARLIE: I was mauled, then I woke up in my room.

VIVIAN: Same.

CARLIE: What happened when you clipped out of bounds?

WYATT: Well, it was white everywhere. I could see the mall, and um… some other things. Then the monster got me. It was invisible, though.

CARLIE: Huh.

VIVIAN: I’m just glad it’s over.

COMPUTER: Teehee.

WYATT: What was that?

COMPUTER: Teehee.

SFX 29: The dull murmur of the undead.

WYATT: What’s that sound?

CARLIE: Moaning.

SFX 30: The murmur is now louder.

VIVIAN: Zombies.

CARLIE: What?

VIVIAN: Because we’re in a fucking mall. It’s zombies.

WYATT: You mean…

COMPUTER: (Shouting with excitement) IT’S STILL HALLOWEEN MODE!

W, V & C: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

COMPUTER: (Over the no) THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!

THE END