Hot Boy Villain Awards Part 6
Vol. 8, Part 6, the final segment of the live holostream of the 273rd annual Hot Boy Villain Awards. (Part of our live stream on Twitch from 8/28/2020. Follow at neverrad.com/twitch)
SCENE 11: HOT BOY VILLAIN AWARDS PART SIX
MFX: A GRAND MUSIC FLOURISH.
TANGELO: This is it folks, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Before I announce the final award winner of the night, I just want to take a moment to thank our sponsors, the judges, all the Hot Boy Villains, and you, the audience at home. You have all made tonight truly special. If you had told me, back when I was doing stand-up routines in jail, that I would someday be hosting the Hotties, I would have said, “Wow. Want to buy some drugs?” and now that I’m here, I can hardly believe it. It’s like a dream come true. Okay, enough gushing, it’s time for the big tamale. The winner of “You Think You Could Change Him” is…
SFX 1: DRUMROLL.
TANGELO: Xavier Darkmoon! That’s thirteen Hotties for Xavier. Holy macaroni. Get back up here, you scamp.
BRAIDEN ZORG: (OFF MIKE) No! No, no, no, no, no!
TANGELO: Who is that? Braiden Zorg? It seems we have a disgruntled nominee approaching the dais. Braiden, stop. Security? Hey, give that back- (OFF MIKE) Security!
BRAIDEN ZORG: I will not stand by and let this, this, this whiny poser win another award. He stinks! I am the hottest boy villain! This is stupid, you are stupid, everyone is stupid. Give me the Hottie!
TANGELO: (OFF MIKE) No. This is for Xavier.
SFX 2: (MIC DROP)
BRAIDEN: (OFF MIKE) Give it!
TANGELO: (OFF MIKE) No!
BRAIDEN: (OFF MIKE) Ha!
TANGELO: (OFF MIKE) Ow! (ON MIKE) (OUT OF BREATH) He got me. A Hottie straight to the gut. Where we at on the bandages Barry? Barry? Well, folks. It looks like that’s it for old Tangelo. And this year’s Hot Boy Villain Awards. Everybody stay bad, stay hot, and make sure to- (COUGH) make sure to visit Gerwick’s for all your clothing (COUGH) stuff. Goodnight everybody.
SFX 3: GRAND MUSICAL FLOURISH
SCENE 12: CREDITS
CREDITS: This has been a production of the Never Rad Miscellany. The Never Rad Miscellany depends on contributions from listeners like you, and listeners who aren’t like you at all. Become a subscription donor and get wonderful benefits over at neverrad.com/patreon.
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The Hot Boy Villain Awards was written by Matthew Braman, featuring the voices of Conrad Miszuk as Barrister Tangelo, William Crook as Xavier Darkmoon, Ryan Jenkins as Raspian Zenith, and ??? as Braiden Zord, and Briauna Kittle as Frootle Oops, with Matthew Braman reading the stage directions.
Ads for Alfonse’s Cornéd Dogs were written by Conrad Miszuk, featuring the voice Conrad Miszuk as Alfonse and ??? reading stage directions.
Ads for Fishtopher’s House of Pi (that’s pi like the number, by the way) were written by Kitt Keller, featuring the voices of Jenae Hirsch as the totally radical spokesbeing and Matthew Braman as Fishtopher, with stage directions read by Kitt Keller.
Ads for SpaceDonalds were written by Briauna Kittle and featured the voice Jamie Haas (OR BRIAUNA KITTLE) as SpaceDonald.
Ads for Burnt Pizza Tacos were written by Matthew Braman and featured the TempoWrinkle Tea was written by Matt Braman, featuring the voice of William Crook (OR MATTHEW BRAMAN) as Stuperfulux Grantismore.
Space Drug PSAs were written by Conrad Miszuk and featured the voices of fuck if I know.
Now! That’s What I Call Polyamory! was written by Kitt Keller, with music by Matthew Braman, and featured the voices of William Crook as Chaz and Matthew Braman (OR BRIAUNA KITTLE) as Dex.
TempoWrinkle Tea was written by Matthew Braman and featured the voice of Ryan Jenkins (OR CONRAD MISZUK).
For more information about the Hot Boy Villain Awards, visit hotboyvillainy.tumblr.com.
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The Never Rad Miscellany is Produced and Directed by Conrad Miszuk, with credits read by Kitt Keller.
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Miscellaneous fact #2311 – You look weird today. Sorry, but a real friend would want you to know.