Miscellany

Hot Boy Villain Awards Part 6

Vol. 8, Part 6, the final segment of the live holostream of the 273rd annual Hot Boy Villain Awards. (Part of our live stream on Twitch from 8/28/2020.  Follow at neverrad.com/twitch)

SCENE 11: HOT BOY VILLAIN AWARDS PART SIX

MFX:    A GRAND MUSIC FLOURISH.

TANGELO:    This is it folks, the moment we’ve all been waiting for.  Before I announce the final award winner of the night, I just want to take a moment to thank our sponsors, the judges, all the Hot Boy Villains, and you, the audience at home.  You have all made tonight truly special. If you had told me, back when I was doing stand-up routines in jail, that I would someday be hosting the Hotties, I would have said, “Wow. Want to buy some drugs?” and now that I’m here, I can hardly believe it. It’s like a dream come true.  Okay, enough gushing, it’s time for the big tamale.  The winner of “You Think You Could Change Him” is…

SFX 1:    DRUMROLL.

TANGELO:    Xavier Darkmoon! That’s thirteen Hotties for Xavier. Holy macaroni. Get back up here, you scamp.

BRAIDEN ZORG:    (OFF MIKE) No! No, no, no, no, no!

TANGELO:    Who is that? Braiden Zorg? It seems we have a disgruntled nominee approaching the dais. Braiden, stop. Security? Hey, give that back- (OFF MIKE) Security!

BRAIDEN ZORG:    I will not stand by and let this, this, this whiny poser win another award. He stinks! I am the hottest boy villain! This is stupid, you are stupid, everyone is stupid. Give me the Hottie!

TANGELO:    (OFF MIKE) No. This is for Xavier.

SFX 2:    (MIC DROP)

BRAIDEN:    (OFF MIKE) Give it!

TANGELO:    (OFF MIKE) No!

BRAIDEN:    (OFF MIKE) Ha!

TANGELO:    (OFF MIKE) Ow! (ON MIKE) (OUT OF BREATH) He got me. A Hottie straight to the gut. Where we at on the bandages Barry? Barry? Well, folks. It looks like that’s it for old Tangelo. And this year’s Hot Boy Villain Awards. Everybody stay bad, stay hot, and make sure to- (COUGH) make sure to visit Gerwick’s for all your clothing (COUGH) stuff. Goodnight everybody.

SFX 3:    GRAND MUSICAL FLOURISH

SCENE 12: CREDITS

CREDITS:    This has been a production of the Never Rad Miscellany. The Never Rad Miscellany depends on contributions from listeners like you, and listeners who aren’t like you at all. Become a subscription donor and get wonderful benefits over at neverrad.com/patreon.  

    Make sure you’re subscribed, hit like if you enjoyed what you saw, and use your mouse to click on the bell icon in order to extra subscribe and make sure you get notified every time we release a video.

    The Hot Boy Villain Awards was written by Matthew Braman, featuring the voices of Conrad Miszuk as Barrister Tangelo, William Crook as Xavier Darkmoon, Ryan Jenkins as Raspian Zenith, and ??? as Braiden Zord, and Briauna Kittle as Frootle Oops, with Matthew Braman reading the stage directions.

     Ads for Alfonse’s Cornéd Dogs were written by Conrad Miszuk, featuring the voice Conrad Miszuk as Alfonse and ??? reading stage directions. 

    Ads for Fishtopher’s House of Pi (that’s pi like the number, by the way) were written by Kitt Keller, featuring the voices of Jenae Hirsch as the totally radical spokesbeing and Matthew Braman as Fishtopher, with stage directions read by Kitt Keller.

    Ads for SpaceDonalds were written by Briauna Kittle and featured the voice Jamie Haas (OR BRIAUNA KITTLE) as SpaceDonald. 

    Ads for Burnt Pizza Tacos were written by Matthew Braman and featured the TempoWrinkle Tea was written by Matt Braman, featuring the voice of William Crook (OR MATTHEW BRAMAN) as Stuperfulux Grantismore.

    Space Drug PSAs were written by Conrad Miszuk and featured the voices of fuck if I know.

    Now! That’s What I Call Polyamory! was written by Kitt Keller, with music by Matthew Braman, and featured the voices of William Crook as Chaz and  Matthew Braman (OR BRIAUNA KITTLE) as Dex.

    TempoWrinkle Tea was written by Matthew Braman and featured the voice of Ryan Jenkins (OR CONRAD MISZUK).

    For more information about the Hot Boy Villain Awards, visit hotboyvillainy.tumblr.com.

    Miscellanists in the field may report their strange and interesting findings at (224)CALL-RAD. That’s (224)225-5723.

    The Never Rad Miscellany is Produced and Directed by Conrad Miszuk, with credits read by Kitt Keller.

    The Never Rad Miscellany is proudly produced in Phoenix, Arizona. Check out NeverRad.com for future live show information, news, extras, more episodes, contact info, and transcriptions. Videos of the live performances and past streams are at NeverRad.com/YouTube. Future and current streams are at NeverRad.com/twitch. Rate the Never Rad Miscellany five stars on your favorite podcasting service to help us grow, tell your friends, family, and nemeses about the show, and connect with us on social media facebook.com/neverrad, neverrad.tumblr.com, Instagram @never.rad, and Twitter @NeverRad.

    Special thanks to our Patreon patrons, especially Valerie, Your Real Dad, Dylan Baldanza, Scout, Paul C who always chooses the finest cornéd dogs and deep friéd cheeseburgers, Josh Green who tried to order pizza but is expected to make a full recovery, and Sass Master J who follows the righteous path of SpaceGod through the SpaceDonalds drive-thru!

    What’s it all about really, when you come right down to it? Yes or no? Tell us in the comments.

    Miscellaneous fact #2311 – You look weird today. Sorry, but a real friend would want you to know.