Hesitr and Probes R Us Part 1
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Note: Heistr is not responsible for the success or failure of your heist, nor the inter-party romance or sexual tension that may arise during or after the heisting process. Heistr is not a dating app and should not be used as such. We are professionals.
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PROBES R US 1
JIMTASTULON:(See Tex Earnhardt) FOX
SFX 1: Glass breaking CRASH
JIMTASTULON: Is YOUR ship getting run down? Not flying like it used to? Leaks and equipment failures right and left? You don’t want to go to some chintzy joint like a SaucerZone or a local neighborhood garage run by just some being. Probes ‘R Us has EVERYTHING you need to keep your rocket, saucer, or shuttle shipshape.
Hi, I’m Jimtastulon Phalaxes, owner and proprietor of Probes R Us. My grandfather Burp started Probes R Us in 2945 with nothing more than a dream and two million credits from his parents. Since then, Probes R Us has grown to be the largest supplier of rocket repair equipment in the outer spiral arm. How? Business sense, family values, severely underpaying our employees, and good old fashioned hard work, admittedly mostly on the part of those employees.
And here at Probes R Us, we keep the family tradition alive by selling honest parts at what we tell you are honest prices. Plus, we’ve got everything you need: control crystals! Roddenberry couplings! Shield generators! Weapons! Plutonium! Salt shakers! Fusion pods! Blinking lights! And of course, we’ve got probes of every shape, size, and vibration capability.
Come on down to Probes ‘R Us today. It’s literally your only option, and that ain’t no lie.